WIP

Copyright Elisha Dasenbrock 2010.

This is one of the 3 paintings I am currently working on. She is on a full sheet and she is from my Thailand series. I want to make most of her body look like a statue because statues are everywhere in Thailand. Buddha statues are all over the place.  Although I want most of her body to resemble that specific part of the culture I want her face and hands to be warmer and show the live and exuberance of such a precocious child.

The other two paintings are dog portraits. One is for Joe’s sister. I forget why, but I know it’s a “if you do this I will paint a picture of Redgy” deal. The second is a commissioned portrait for someone as a gift.

1/2 of my IWS submission

[wp_cart:Back Of Taxi:price:600.00:end]

This painting, along with my self portrait titled “This Too Shall Pass” will be my submission for this year’s Illinois Watercolor Society.  Any critique would be much appreciated.

Self-Portrait

This Too Shall Pass

Explanation: The last few months I have felt the loss of my mom more strongly than I ever have. It’s been a knot in my chest. The depression that has accompanied that has been very difficult to shake.  While I was much more productive the last semester of school than I had been since I was diagnosed with severe depression almost three years ago, many people did not see that. These people focused on the surface. These people do not really know me and they judged me by their own standards and just what was obvious.
Many times when I am depressed people will try to cheer me up and say, “Just do it,” or “Let that stuff go,” “You are only focusing on the negative.” Sometimes while trying to motivate me they will add, “Everyone else can do it, why can’t you?” None of these help. I say things just like that to myself all the time. Being depressed makes me really angry. I just want to work on my paintings and live up to “my full potential.”  When I try to take care of myself, i.e. make sure I get enough sleep, people think I am just being lazy. People think I am just being lazy quite a bit actually. That is the most common judgment.
I chose the bright white light on my should to represent these accusations and judgments. I wanted the light to be harsh, unrelenting, and biased.  I wanted to show that by being in the dark of depression that the harshness of these allegations is painful, a shock to the system, and impossible to accept. I have to pull away from that light because the judgments are not fair and they are being brought on by people who do not understand.
The bare chest is to show vulnerbility.
The shadows represent depression and grief.
The painting as a whole shows these emotions and public reactions to it.
I chose this subject because it has been a huge part of me for the past few months and also because it’s really the only way I can express the depression to other people. I may try to tell someone, if I am close with them, but even then I can not fully explain how I feel. I know that the depression will pass, just as it always has in the passed. Art is nothing if not a way to express one’s self.

Note: This was originally posted on 5/5/09 on blog.limitedpalette.com.  Recently I read a quote by Edward Hopper, “If I could express it in words, I wouldn’t need to paint.” That is exactly how I feel about this painting and the emotion behind it.

Joe

*Edit:This is an updated picture. I finally had time to set up my wonderful HP Photosmart C4580. (It’s amazing!) I also finally installed photoshop on my computer not too long ago and now I am able to scan my paintings and let photoshop piece them back together. This makes a much better image because my photo-taking skills leave much to be desired. So after a very busy busy weekend of painting and the exhibit I bring you the new image.
This is a portrait of Joe. I did this one in three days. The portrait of his mom is a full sheet, this painting is a half sheet. I think this one turned out okay. My teacher said it was the best portrait in watercolor that he has seen come out of the academy. He really likes it, clearly. I like the way I painted. I don’t think there is anything wrong with painting, I just don’t like how I drew it. That’s a huge problem. My other watercolor teacher has been telling me for a year that I need to stop being such a shitty drawer (not exactly his words, but it wouldn’t be a surprise if he said it like that). I figured it would sort itself out, but I think I may have just gotten lazier over time. This also comes on the heels of working on a painting yesterday that I drew over the summer where most of the drawing is so wrong. I was very proud of that drawing until I looked at it as I was painting yesterday and noticed that most of the lines are very off. Granted, that was a semester ago, but I really haven’t improved. I’m not patient enough.

Also, I need to scan this painting in because this picture is really too yellow. All the nice greens and blues are missing. I will try to fix that on Monday, but I am also going to be getting everything ready to enter two contests later in the week so I will be very busy Monday.

Margaret

This is a portrait of Joe’s mom. There are a few things that I really like about this painting, mostly in the face. I like the way I painted the eyes and skin tone. I don’t like that I messed up on the drawing of the eyes and they are not on the same line. I also don’t like how the nose is drawn because it looks a little sunken in. However, I do think I got a likeness and I would like to try this painting again.
This is also just a detail, the painting is huge and I really don’t like how I did the rest of the painting. I just made a few bad decisions and did not have the time to really carry off a painting so large.